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Let's Talk- How To Talk to Your Spouse About Collaborative Divorce

Updated: Jun 30, 2021

Going through a divorce is a difficult and emotional time for a couple, but if you are on that path and considering Collaborative Divorce, you may be unsure how to suggest going this route to your spouse.

If you and your spouse communicate well, a Collaborative Divorce can be the best way to go, but your spouse might not understand or have fully researched the different divorce options. Timing is always important to take into consideration when having a discussion about your divorce. Choose a time when there aren’t children or other distractions around. Remember you are not trying to convince your spouse that a Collaborative Divorce is the way you should go, rather bring all of the information to the table and let him/her form their opinions and come to their own conclusion.

Going the Collaborative Divorce route keeps you out of the courtroom and avoids litigation which can cost a couple a lot of money and time. It is a process that unites you with a team of Collaboratively trained individuals that will put your family’s individual needs first. Emphasize to your spouse that you will each have your own attorney, and there are additional, neutral parties present to address concerns such as financial, property and, of course, children. The Collaborative Approach enables a flow of ideas and information between both parties in a transparent way without involving a judge. Rather, you are making the decisions that concern your family.

Emphasize that divorce can be accomplished in a kinder, gentler way through collaboration, reducing the stress and anger that often comes with litigation. Thousands of dollars may be saved by avoiding the courtroom, putting more money in each of your hands in your post divorce life.

Most importantly, make it a discussion and not a hard sell as that would negate the Collaborative Approach you are seeking to use. Encourage your spouse to do the research and make a plan to discuss the option again. If either of you have questions about the Collaborative Process, you can reach out to any one of the professionals of LICDP for assistance.

Written by Aaron Lieberman, CFP, CDFA.

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