Divorce and Mental Health: Real Struggles Nobody Talks About (And How to Protect Your Peace)

By: Elizabeth Vaz, Esq.

Date: May 20, 2025

Going through divorce is hard. As a divorce attorney, I can tell you that for certain. But, what I cannot tell you is just how much the divorce will affect you while you are managing anxiety, depression, or trauma. That’s a whole different level of stress and you need a whole different level of support to help in that area; instead of just the court system.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so there is no better time to discuss the emotional toll of divorce — and more importantly, how to survive it.

Here we will cover:

• 3 common mental health challenges during divorce

• 3 proven ways to protect your peace

• Why staying out of court may be the best decision you ever make

Mental Health and Divorce Are Deeply Connected

Divorce doesn’t just end a relationship. It often disrupts your sense of identity, your daily routine, your family dynamics, your finances, and your future. It’s one of the most emotionally disruptive life events a person can face.

If you already live with anxiety, depression, or trauma from past experiences — a divorce can absolutely intensify those issues.

But here's the good news: There are healthier ways to move forward.

1. Divorce Anxiety

The uncertainty of what comes next — financially, emotionally, legally — can fuel constant anxiety. Some of it can be downright debilitating. Many people report:

• Trouble sleeping

• Racing thoughts

• Panic about legal deadlines or court dates with uncertain outcomes

It’s not just the divorce that’s stressful — it’s how you divorce.

2. Divorce Depression

Even if you initiated the split, grief is natural and it is real. You may feel:

• Hopelessness

• Fatigue

• Isolation

• Loss of motivation

It’s the end of an important chapter in your life. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine what comes next.

3. Triggers and Trauma Responses

If your relationship involved emotional abuse, control, or high conflict, the divorce process can trigger fight-or-flight responses. And the court will not help lessen these overwhelming feelings. From court hearings, to aggressive emails, and even legal threats, these can all retrigger trauma. This will only make your recovery even harder.

Smart Solutions

1. Choose a No-Court Divorce Process

Litigation is adversarial by design and is not intended to help you heal. It pits one side against the other and often escalates conflict — which is the last thing your nervous system needs.

Instead, explore options like:

• Collaborative Divorce

• Mediation

• Negotiated Settlement

These methods are focused on solutions, not battles. And they take into account, your needs, your emotions and your future. Plus, these models can be faster, more affordable and more emotionally sustainable.

2. Work with Mental Health-Informed Professionals

Not all divorce professionals are the same. Look for attorneys and mediators and mental health providers who are:

• Trauma-informed

• Experienced with these specific mental health challenges

• Focused on reducing stress and conflict

They won’t just look out for your legal rights — they’ll protect your emotional wellbeing, too.

3. Build a Support Circle

You don’t have to do this alone and, quite frankly, you shouldn't do it alone. A supportive and comprehensive team might include:

• A therapist or counselor

• Trusted friends or family

• Divorce support groups (online or local)

• Mental health-aware divorce professionals

Remember: There’s strength in asking for help.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve Peace

Divorce doesn’t have to destroy you. In fact, with the right process and support system, it can actually become the beginning of a healthier, more peaceful chapter in your life.

So if you’re navigating divorce and mental health challenges, take this to heart:

Your emotional safety matters just as much as your legal outcome.